I don’t want to be selfless. I don’t want to float through this life untethered to any of my own needs or desires. I don’t want to exhaust myself while desperately trying to ensure the happiness of those around me, a task that could never really be mine. 

I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to feel so uncertain of my own worth that I can’t look away from my own needs long enough to see how my life intersects with yours. I don’t want to pretend that our peace isn’t bound up in each other. 

I want to be self-full. I want to know my own goodness as clearly as I know that the sun will rise tomorrow. I want to feel so filled with me that I trust my emotions, my instincts, and my decisions. I want my curiosity, compassion, and courage to overflow because I’m so full of self that I can’t keep it all in.

Dr. Ashley Solomon is the founder of Galia Collaborative, an organization dedicated to helping women heal, thrive, and lead. She works with individuals, teams, and companies to empower women with modern mental healthcare and the tools they need to amplify their impact in a messy world.

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