Given the state of our world lately, I’ve felt a growing sense of responsibility about how I am raising the next generation.
As a parent of both sons and a daughter, people often assume my greatest concern lies with her. They imagine I’m focused on helping her develop the grit to advocate for herself and the resilience to navigate a world that does not always center her needs.
And of course, that matters deeply.
But truthfully? I often feel more pressure raising my boys.
This is because boys are often less directly impacted by the inequities we see playing out around us. My daughter, in many ways, has “skin in the game.” She will encounter moments that ask something of her – moments that invite (or require) her to question, to push back, to advocate.
My sons may not be immediately asked in the same way, and so that’s where the work is.
Because if we want a more just, compassionate, and thoughtful world, it cannot be built solely by those who are most affected by injustice. It requires boys—and eventually men—who are willing to notice, to care, and to act, even when they are not the ones most directly impacted.
That is not something that develops by accident. It has to be taught, modeled, and practiced.
Introducing JADE Academy
To begin cultivating this, my seven-year-old and I started a simple weekly ritual. Every Sunday, we spend 15 minutes together in what he proudly named JADE Academy (inspired by his love of Wings of Fire).
While the name comes from dragon lore, we’ve given it our own meaning: Justice. Awareness. Diversity. Empathy.
The goal isn’t to teach politics. It’s to build the foundations of critical thinking, perspective-taking, and moral courage—skills that will shape how he moves through the world.
A Simple 15-Minute Blueprint
As a therapist, I know that for a seven-year-old, a “lecture” is the fastest way to lose him. So our structure is intentionally brief, interactive, and grounded in curiosity rather than correction.
Here’s what our 15 minutes typically looks like:
1. The Hook: We Start with Play
We begin with something engaging: a quick game or prompt that introduces the concept in a low-pressure way.
Examples:
- Fact or Opinion Lightning Round: I’ll say statements like “Chocolate ice cream is the best flavor” vs. “The Earth revolves around the sun,” and he decides which is which.
- Perspective Flip: I’ll describe a situation and ask, “How might this feel if you were the other person?”
2. The Lesson
Next, we briefly explore the topic. Sometimes we watch a short clip and sometimes we just talk.
Rather than delivering information, I try to ask questions that help him think:
Topics we’ve explored (with ways to approach them):
- The Power of Language
Prompt: “What do people mean when they say ‘like a girl’? Do you think that’s fair?”
Follow-up: “How might that feel to hear? Who does that help or hurt?” - Discerning Truth vs. Opinion
Prompt: “Do you think everything people say online is true?”
Follow-up: “Why might someone present their opinion as a fact? How could we tell the difference?” - The Value of Difference
Prompt: “What would the world be like if everyone were exactly the same?”
Follow-up: “Can you think of a time someone being different made something better?”
3. The Takeaway
We always end with a small, doable “mission” for the week.
Examples:
- “Notice if you hear someone say something like ‘boys are stronger than girls.’ What do you think when you hear it?”
- “See if you can spot something online or in a commercial that feels like an opinion being presented as a fact.”
- “Pay attention to a moment when someone is left out—what do you notice?”
Why This Matters
Keeping these sessions short and relational means JADE Academy doesn’t feel like a chore; it feels like a secret club for growth.
What we are really doing is strengthening his capacity to:
- Pause before accepting something as true
- Consider perspectives beyond his own
- Stay open, even when something is uncomfortable
- Care about people whose experiences differ from his own
In a time when the world leaves me feeling like I have very little control, I take solace in this. Helping my sons grow into empathetic, individual thinkers and courageous allies is within my control. We are not just raising boys; we are raising the men who will stand beside our daughters to change the future.
