I don’t want to be selfless. I don’t want to float through this life untethered to any of my own needs or desires. I don’t want to exhaust myself while desperately trying to ensure the happiness of those around me, a task that could never really be mine. 

I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to feel so uncertain of my own worth that I can’t look away from my own needs long enough to see how my life intersects with yours. I don’t want to pretend that our peace isn’t bound up in each other. 

I want to be self-full. I want to know my own goodness as clearly as I know that the sun will rise tomorrow. I want to feel so filled with me that I trust my emotions, my instincts, and my decisions. I want my curiosity, compassion, and courage to overflow because I’m so full of self that I can’t keep it all in.

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